Author Archives: Gavin Syme

Vodophone…a Customer Satisfaction Epic Fail!

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Today is a good day.  Why you ask…well its simple.  Today I got back the near two hundred pounds that Vodaphone took from my bank account.  Let me tell you a little story.

On the 28th of August I looked at my current account and discovered that two hundred pounds was missing.  Now that is not small change to anyone.  Asking in the bank I was told it was a charge from Vodaphone against my good lady. Which was odd since she no longer had a phone contract with them having cancelled and paid if off a month plus earlier moving to another provider.  I, being a civilised fellow, thought that a quick call to the company would resolve this and get my money back.  But no….

On the evening of the 28th my wife made half a dozen calls to their call centre and I kid you not the workers there not only did not help her but they all ‘accidentally’ hung up on her during the calls.  Eventually finding a decent chap we were told that they simply did not know why they took the money as we had no account!  Don’t worry we will sort it out they said.  Time passed, time passed.  We phoned back and tried again the next week and were promised a speedy solution and a return of the funds.  Well that was the 31st of August and here we are on the 9th of September.  That is, in the age of Paypal and instant communications, nearly two weeks to get a resolution.  Just not good enough.  Not at all!

I had to cancel plans, cut down my expenditure.  No one suffered but I feel strongly enough about this to say that they just ‘stole’ the money and then sat on it.

Well done Vodaphone you moved me to make a blog post like this something I avoid normally.  You will never get my custom again.

GBS

Riddick – Film Review

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Fear the Dark…Riddick’s third outing!

I have known Mr Richard Riddick since Pitch Black way back in 2000 when both he and I were quite a bit younger and fitter.  Don’t get me wrong I took my one day off this week and went to the cinema to watch ANYTHING, I just wanted out and about as they say.  So standing in front of the boards looking at what was on at the Odeon only one film jumped out from among the sugar soaked, the digitally cretinous and the British made luvvie fan club and that was Riddick.   As is my way, and you might have guessed, I pay literally no attention to trailers and I don’t read reviews until after I see something so that I can go in fresh with no spoilers.  So tickets were bought (ouch!) and in myself and my good lady went.

Was Riddick any good?  In short yes!  I enjoyed it.

Riddick is a stripped down lean B-Movie of the kind that made Predator and Alien such successes.  Its not on a par with those movies by any means but it has the same narrow focus and small cast with a linear plot structure. It has plenty of action, it has decent special effects.  The characters are all good fun even if their dialogue is of the worst cardboard cut out variety.  Its not trying to be something that it isn’t and this made me happy.  Riddick cracks along at a good pace and it twists and turns often enough not to become boring.  In fact kudos to the film as for really its first third there is no dialogue at all and only the main character on screen as he makes his way on a hostile planet (all non urban planets in this universe are hostile in these movies) aka Robinson Crusoe.  I will not spoil the plot but I will say that the three thirds of Riddick centre around firstly isolation and survival against the wild, secondly the hunt and survival against Humanity and lastly a third of survival against monstrosity.

Special mention must be given to Katee Sackhoff’s breasts which are seen in the film and as a married man I must describe as ‘very nice’ and nothing more but honestly its a naked woman and most of the online commentary about the movie is about this and nothing else.  Which is sad really, its an adult rated action film what do you expect!  Time to offend those who like to be offended me thinks.

Lastly this movie would make a superb series of 15mm or 28mm scale wargame skirmishes so if you are a fan of sci-fi gaming then have a look at it for that reason alone.  The grav bikes are really nice as are the space ship designs and sentry pods and so on.  Good technology for those who like to look at that as well as the naked ladies.

The same lead actor, the same basic plot, the same director.  Riddick goes back to what made Pitch Black excellent and largely succeeds.  Go and see it if you have the time.

GBS

p.s. just remember…someone’s head goes in the box.

Beighton’s Shipyard’s short USEME Starship Battles review

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In the inky stellar darkness….

Mark over at Beighton’s Shipyard blog has posted a short review of a wargaming title I partially authored a couple of years ago along with Omer Golan Joel.  Its the sixth in the USEME series and its a set of rules for simple and fast fleet scale starship battles in miniature.

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I have to say he did a grand job.  Its not a simulation set of complex rules, it was never meant to be.  Its fast and fun and with enough variety and bolt on mechanics to be adaptable to most settings.  I have used it myself several times for everything from dogfights with five a side fighters to a whole fleet of dreadnoughts in the dark and also with Eli Ardnt’s fleet scale mecha for a special robotech style struggle.

Check it out!

Also if you are wondering what ‘The Big Mac’ is…well I know, I wrote it, but you will have to read it to find out!

GBS

A Present from Vegas and Boston USA

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Give them Dice and Gummy Lobsters!

The Syme family got a gift in the mail this morning all the way from sunny Las Vegas by way of Boston Harbour and then back to England.  Within its cardboard walls the package contained three bags of bright red (the kind of red that only American candy customers get as those ‘e’ numbers are banned in the EU) Gummy Lobsters along with three silver metal dice.  Each of these dice filled with delicious Salt Water Taffy (something else that you cannot get with any ease in the UK).  Very kind to send these things in three’s it means that the three little Symes will not have to duel to the death over a share.

It always makes me smile when I get a gift like this.  It proves that people are good and that trying to be nice to everyone makes the world a nicer place.  Makes up for the potentially near fatal car crash I nearly had this afternoon with a primate who had both eyes on his phone and no hands on his steering wheel but…that is enough about that.

So.  Thanks Uncle Steve and Aunt Lesley!  Kisses from us all.  Expect a wee pressie from Girvan later this week or next.

GBS

Ex-Heroes 1 by Peter Clines – Book Review

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Superheroes and Zombies in the same place!  Awesome!  Why did no one else think of this?

That is how Peter Clines first book in his Ex-Heroes series was described on the book jacket and it grabbed my attention.  I am not a true fan of the risen dead or of caped crusaders but putting them into one pulp style story really appealed to me.  I am not alone.  The internet is full of glowing reviews of this book which, as normal for me, I only read after finishing the book which I did this week.

The concept behind Ex-Heroes is brilliant in its simplicity. It can be summed up as: superheroes surviving in post-apocalyptic zombie infested Los Angeles. Traditional shuffle and eat brains types.   It’s been two years since the plague of the undead has spread across the globe, killing basically everyone and resulting in the collapse of civilization. In that time a fortress has been established on the premises of an old film studio and the survivors exisit. The heroes, under the command of ‘Stealth’, go out on scavenging runs to keep the Mount supplied. Zombies, or ex-humans as they’re called, are an ever-present danger but deep in the city stirs a greater threat to the residents of the Mount.

What is a superhero novel without heroes.  I will not go into details but characters such as Stealth, Might Dragon, Zzzap, Gorgon and so on can all be linked to more famous versions of themselves.  The setting makes for another great point. The ‘Moun’t is a clever construction, making use of the natural fortifications of a film studio and augmenting them further for defensibility. The best part of L.A. is all the pop culture references from Doctor Who to It’s A Wonderful Life. The regular humans compare ex-celebrities they have killed, injecting some levity.

Ex-Heroes is told in past and present tense, in first- and third-person respectively. The past tense comes from multiple first-person perspectives, in some cases detailing the origins of the heroes and in others detailing the early stages of the zombie outbreak. The first-person past tense is much stronger than the third-person present tense, infusing the heroes with a sense of individuality. The plot is lean and fast paced. The action is over the top, just as you would hope for when you pit super powered vigilantes against the carnivorous Undead. There is plenty of carnage to go around in any case. The ex-virus, from its the origin to the symptoms – the virus does not kill you; but it does revive you.

This is a superb pulp novel and I have already got my hands on the second one (there are four in total at the moment) as I want to see where it goes.  Its a fun read and if you like those genre’s go and get it!

On a side note I think that adapting USEME Zombie Dawn to this setting would be fairly easy.  Working up some rules mechanics for the super heroes and also the effects of this.

Top Marks!

GBS

A Day Trip to Belfast Zoo

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The Warrior and the Poet at the front doors of the Zoo

Last Saturday I went on a little day trip.  I say little, it was a twelve hour trip from here in Ayrshire across the sea to Northern Ireland, to Belfast, to visit the Zoo there.  A treat for the children and for myself since they behaved well for the whole school summer holidays and due to work it was the only holiday I got!  It was actually a scheduled day trip organised by Thomas Cook’s branch in Girvan and for just twenty pounds a person including ferry travel, transfers and zoo entry it was awesome value.

Leaving from Cairnryan Ferry Port the journey by Stenaline Ferry took just over two hours.  The ship was modern, clean, excellently equipped and the staff were very friendly too.  Upon arrival at Belfast we were taken by coach along with a group of other people on a short drive to Belfast Zoo where my good lady snapped the picture above.  If you remember I began the kids summer holidays with a visit to Edinburgh Zoo so how so the two places compare?  Well for a start the weather was much nicer in Belfast and that helped.  As far as the zoo’s compare Edinburgh is larger and has more animals but Belfast was cleaner and actually more interesting as it did not sacrifice all of its big animals for the ruddy Pandas.  Belfast had lions, tigers, elephants, giraffe and so on; all missing now in Edinburgh.  Belfast is much cheaper on ticket price too.  On balance they are both worth a day but I am more taken with Northern Ireland and might go back…ironically its closer to home too!

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Toucan play that Game!

An animal that really caught my attention was the Toucan.  I have never seen one before and its vivid colours really grabbed me.  Fantastic bird that, since I got two minutes alone with it against the glass, actually made eye contact and mimicked my motions.  Highlight of the day for me really.  Below you can see me with the Giraffe’s.  By a total fluke all ten of them were sealed in the indoor paddock.  I have never seen so many or so close, I even got to touch one that lowered it head to me.  No sugar cubes or hay from me since I had none and you never feed zoo animals don’t you know.

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GBS among the long necks!

The trip back to Scotland was pleasant enough and dinner on the ferry was well priced and good quality.  Aside from a brief encounter with a couple of ‘lower sorts’ (what is it about certain football shirts that turn human beings into morons?) which ended well enough for me, it was plain sailing.  I got myself a zoo key ring (its tradition in a gift shop to do that with me) and a discontinued Guiness bight red mug with a Toucan on it on the Ferry.

A day trip that I would recommend to anyone who lives near enough the ferry ports on the west coast to make it in a day.  Excellent Fun!

GBS

The Ion Age by Gavin Syme….now live!

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Today is the day that the hardest secret I have had to keep in my professional working life becomes common knowledge.  Today I personally told five thousand wargamers and by extension of that over this week maybe two or three hundred thousand more through forums and news portals about the existence of The Ion Age.   A brand new wargaming website, brand new products, brand new approach and all based on my favourite science fiction setting which I first learned about nearly twenty years ago.

Its been a slow build and a lot of work but over the last year the pieces have been put in place and the future literally written as I expanded and hardened the fiction that already existed into a bigger and better format upon which a lot can be hung.   It is one thousand years since the end of the great Khanate War and the betrayal of Prydian space by the fanatical Templars and after an age of darkness and an ongoing bitter civil war between powerful Marcher Barons a great leader has emerged to take command of the Prydian Army and its knights.  Princess Daphne Cyon has her work cut out for her though for as well as the Leagues of Yordan and Canlaster there is the situation in the Camarthen star cluster to now contend with…..

There is a blog for The Ion Age upon which I will be putting the majority of my thoughts on this subject as it grows and encompasses more and more.  Have a look and bookmark it or follow it.  The blog will fill you in on the rest of the details such as the free miniature with every order (changed every month see below), the weekly releases, the loyalty system with earned goodies, new rules sets and more.  Oh and what is coming on Thursday of this week.

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That is it for now.  After all I have a universe to build but stick around to see a future filled with hope, bravery, mighty deeds and not the same old hand cranked gaming fodder.  This is the Ion Age and  its going to be a blast!

GBS

Getting Ready for School…less affordable now?

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The summer holidays are over and the rain continues to fall in Scotland (well it was actually a good seven weeks all in for weather this year) and my three are going back to the land of education.  Aside from this being the first time for the youngest, The Warrior, it also means the need to buy yet more school uniforms and supplies.  So off I went and bought what was needed.  I looked for bargains, for special offers, for value and then bought it three times over.  I got all that was needed and it took most of a day to do it.

Well what can I say.  Despite looking for the best offers and making a killer saving on the older two boy’s shoes the cost was more than last year.  I know there is a third child now but its more than that.  The cost of everything was up.  I ain’t moaning, I am just saying as the song goes.  I am glad I don’t have to do this more than once a year (but items do need replaced regularly!).  Above you can see most of the pile, not all of it but it gives you an idea spread out more than six feet across.

Is the new gear for school starting less affordable now.  My opinion is that despite the claims of major retailers it really is.  I won’t say how much I spent but it has left a sizeable hole in my pocket.  What do you do if you have four, five or more children…share shoes or hope the government aids you is all I can say.

Moan over…back to the positive once more! 

GBS

Commonwealth Games – Glasgow 2014 – Irn Bru

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Brand New but Vintage Bru!

I have not been posting much here or on other forums and for that and the hundreds of you who read these items every day I am sorry.  But fear not the reason for this will be revealed in all of its awesomeness on Monday 19th August.  Just you wait…fans of 15mm especially.

Moving on from that good luck to Scotland in this evening’s football match against England at Wembley.  Victory will go to the Tartan Army I am sure (errr….maybe not) but its the first time that Scotland have played ‘The Auld Enemy’ since 1999 and I remember that match well.  I also now realise I am since that match a father of three, married, a home owner, a successful author and car driver among other things…it sure does creep up on you eh.  I will post a comment after the match and let you all know what happened.

Lastly the above image is of a brand new design of Irn-Bru can of fizzy drink which has been produced in celebration of Glasgow’s hosting of the 2014 Commonwealth Games.  We may not have been big enough to get the Olympics but this is just as good as it is actually near enough to visit.  The can has a vintage design on it and it looks and tastes very nice too.

All in all its a great week…and the kids go back to school on Monday too. 🙂

GBS

Parliamo Glasgow – Stanley Baxter

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While live is mighty fine by the sea in sunny Girvan, Ayrshire I do sometimes miss the city of my birth; Glasgow.  Following a recent conversation with a friend who has never been to the city and in trying to explain to them that when I was a ‘wean’ the dialect spoken there was often impenetrable not only to non-english native speakers but also the majority of the other residents of Britain!   While I speak reasonable ‘Glasgow’ I am long out of practise (except for creating Joccian dialect in Flintloque!) so I directed myself and friend to YouTube and Stanley Baxter.

Long, long ago the great Scottish comedian Stanley Baxter did a series of sketches, quite hard to get these days it seems, where he acted out typical scenes of the city and then after delivering the lines in ‘Glasgow’ he would then switch to a proper RP English accent to give a translation in the style of a travel programme.  Have a look and enjoy…even if you have to run it back a couple of times!

Oh and yes all Scottish people can speak proper English when they want, but what would be the fun in that.   Differences and diversity make Britain the great nation it is today.

GBS